Fascinating

It's a fine sunny morning here at our place and I'm like up early. I'm soooo making up later on. I have work to think about this afternoon but it's okay. I guess.

It's been a while since I posted. Not that I'm uninspired or anything. I am inspired actually but I have been really busy with work, hospital week and baking. It was a tumultuous ride to the finish. Right now, I'm back to slow paced life, only going out to work or church. Still it's fun. hihi

Well, with regards to my blog title. It ain't no biggie. It's just that I have watched the movie 'Something Borrowed'  last night and I was in tears yet again. haha I sooooo love watching love stories I can't wait to write my own. And so it fascinates me how two people can fall in love. I mean I fall in love but it has always been one sided for me. It's always been my story.

So I was reflecting on the movie. I sobbed at the part where Ethan [who was always there for Rachel] told her that he has always loved her after Rachel


--->> moving forward. It's Saturday already and it's kinda rainy here at our place. I wasn't able to finish this entry yesterday because I was kinda moving to and fro the pc and went to work in the afternoon til evening.

So back to my reflection. Ethan was the guy who was always always there for Rachel and watched her lose the fight for the love of her life to her best friend, Darcy. I remember Rachel saying, "I want to be somebody's first choice." And then when Ethan was spilling out his feelings ever so sincerely, I was literally sobbing. I feel him because as I've said, love has always been one sided for me. I wish it flowed both ways. Like now, I'm having feelings for someone but I have to try to 'kill' it because I know he's in love with someone else. Being with him is enough and being able to show some support, well, makes me happy. It's sad how I have become one of the girls who's always waiting but it's how I was raised to be and it's a choice that I continue to make.
When I feel for someone, I look up to him and place great respect. And maybe because of that, it becomes hard for me to imagine how a guy like him would fall for someone like me. It feels somehow close to impossible.

I'm sorry for being emo today. I just wanted to spill my heart out since yesterday. :/

Spoiled

So I'm back from night duty which was more fun than crappy. Night duties usually tend to be a bore and a struggle to complete because of the fact that I will be spending the night away from home. However, there are some days that I find it extremely fun. Exaggerated, eh? But yeah it was. It felt like we were doing a slumber party. All of us wearing pajamas [scrubs] and playing like there should be no time for sleep. Haha. 

So here's a 'boss'[staff as I am just a volunteer who looks up to them] of mine, who makes me feel spoiled a lot. I actually feel that my bosses do spoil me a lot, make me feel more like a princess instead of a subordinate. Some are just my age but most are younger than me. They are boys soooo that kinda means a lot. They are so nice to me that sometimes it makes me feel content and that I feel that I do not need a boyfriend anymore as I have boy-friends such as them who care a lot. 

Remember the fun run? :) The one who won in the male division is one of my 'bosses'. The prize money isn't a lot but that morning before signing off, we were talking about eating ice cream during our duty shift together. So last night errr this morning was that shift. He bought us [me and my colleagues] ice cream and it surely made my night. We played some card games after and then before nap time [yeah we have that during night duties. hihi] , we had an admission. Boo. But still, after that we took the time to nap. So we were solved. 

This boss who spoils me is just my age and we graduated on the same year in the same school only in different sections. I used to be one of his haters because he wasn't exactly the kindest person as per impressions when we were in college. I never thought we would be really good friends and that he would keep up with all my childishness. He's very typical yet atypical of a guy. I don't know if you get that but he's really different. He encourages me to exercise so as to get fit. He's a very good friend but can also be a very nasty enemy. 

I hope he doesn't read this because he'll surely think that I'm kinda 'OA' [over acting] He's not the kind who's very soft. He hates all the mushiness. But he does make me feel pampered and I appreciate that that's why I'm writing this entry to pay tribute. That's all. Ha. 

Run

So it's been days since we all got back from Cebu. My parents' check up turned out pretty okay. I had some fun but I soooo got sick there. I had colds and my nose ran all over the sheets on my bed in our hotel room. It lasted for some two or more days. Now, I am glad I'm okay. 

So about running, it's something that's got me a little hooked. It seems to me like a fun fun activity but it's also kinda hard to maintain the pace. Today I walked/jogged/ran to the hospital alone at dawn. It was something I did for the first time and I don't know if I could ever replicate it. I used my pedometer and I finished in less than 30 minutes. I felt kinda proud of myself as I was sweating out so early in the morning. Btw, I went there to host the fun run activity for the feast at the hospital. I wasn't able to join as I was the one waiting for them to get back. It was fun. We had a grilled pork breakfast after that with my Maternity friends at the hospital basement. 

So right now, I'm working on my big project for the weekend which might mean the lack of sleep again for me. I will be going to Cebu again on Saturday for a wedding. 80 cupcakes and a cake. Yay! But it's tiring to work alone. I wish I had little helpers like that of Santa. I'd like for someone to help me out. I think I will be training my sister or my cousin for that. hihihi :)) 

To Cebu

Yep. We're leaving for Cebu City tomorrow for my parents' quarterly check up with the endocrinologist. I'm kinda scared because I heard the waves have been really bad these past few days. I'm also scared because I'll be seeing the same doctor who is consistently pushing me to lose weight and I haven't made any huge progress since the last visit. I am excited though because I will be seeing one of my brothers, be eating out again. We will also be checking in to a new pension house. Wee! Also stoked to taste new flavors and looking forward to eating gelato again :))

See ya!

Just A Thought

What happens when you feel for someone who is linked with someone else...say someone who already is married, or has a boyfriend/girlfriend? I've heard of stories from some friends and I think I myself too had gone through the same situation. [the guy's NOT married, of course!] The only difference is that I never really had the guts to tell the person straight out how I felt. Others though have taken the risk to be 'the other person' just to experience joy with the one they feel for. I only think there is pain at the end of the road. But how can they possibly want to be that way?

I can't judge or anything because I know I am finding myself in a similar situation right now. Still, I have no plans of telling straight out. I hope I am just infatuated and that this feeling will just go away. I am not allowing myself to fall too deep for someone who is linked with someone else. I cannot allow myself to get hurt because of my own wrong doing. I cannot ruin my first ever love story. [Yes, I am convincing myself. hihi]

However, for the people I know and those who might stumble upon this read that is in a similar sitch, I am sorry you are in such a situation. Having fallen for someone who might be right but at the wrong time, still is wrong. While there's life, there's a chance to quit. Clear things out with the person you're involved with. Be courageous. Face the pain. I think everyone deserves to be happy. That doesn't exclude you.

Off to the Beach

 It's Monday today. But yesterday was a Sunday and was a perfectly timed day for the beach. Our family went off with my cousin's family.

We never really wore swimsuits to the beach when we were younger. We only settled for tshirts and shorts. Now we are different. We have developed the love for swimsuits and realized that it's more fun bathing in them because it makes it easier to wade and swim in the water. 

here are the food we had for our little beach party :) 

[pansit bihon, grilled fish, lechon manok, some native snacks and mangoes :))]

Birthday Update

I'm sorry for being away for a while. Things have been pretty hectic for me this past few days.

Last week marked my birthday and it wasn't really something big. I did some baking the whole day for an order then baked my cake too. It was a carrot cashew cake and i tried cream cheese frosting for the first time which made me lick the whisks of my beater. hahaha :D

 me and my cake 

my cake with randomly placed 24 gummy bears. hihi

Some friends came over to celebrate with me and brought in some foods. 

We also had a little drinking/chitchat session. It was all fun.

Anyhoo... Now that I am 24, I am thinking of something worthwhile to do with my life. Of course I have the hospital and my cakes to be busy with. But I still need something stabler to draw income from since my papa is not recovering really fast. I am hoping that things will work out for me this year. 

Upset

Yup. You read it right. I am upset because my birthday's coming up and I've got myself no plans of celebrating it.

Last night, my childhood buddies were out again for a sleep over . I was quite envious at the thought but set the idea of going aside because I was pretty sure my mom would not agree and then just reasoned out to myself that I would like to rest my panda eyes. However, before going to bed, I called them up just to know what was happening on their side of the world. And then we had fun laughing over the phone and ended up discussing plans for my upcoming birthday on the 27th. I was stoked to the highest. IKR. 'Stoke' is my new favorite word. haha I fell asleep excited.

Now came morning, I was on to my cup of coffee and some pieces of bread. My papa woke up and my mama ushered him towards the dining table. We were going to have breakfast together and I started blurting out our plans with my friends. I knew what was going to happen next but I thought maybe it was will be worth the try since it's going to be my birthday anyway. But no, it wasn't. Boo hoo. Of course [then again] she wasn't so into the idea of me going out with friends. We just got home from Cebu and now we're going out again. I went on again with my jargon 'So when do you expect us to go out like that, when we're 30?' and then she said [in Visayan of course] 'Going out never goes out of style, even when you are 50.' In my head, I was like, 'OMG. What is happening? It's not like we're going to be the same people when we are 50!' I wanted to argue but I know I'm not good at it so I went to my room and vented out my feelings again and sent my friends some messages.

Now I don't have plans whatsoever. I only plan to sleep through the day. I might have changes of plans later but for now, that's it. We'll be going to the Neuro today to have my papa checked up.

See you, then. :P

Out with my Friends

True friends are real comfort zones, I must say. :) Anywhere with them would feel like home. You wouldn't mind laughing your hearts out and doing funny funny things. You tell each other stuff that you wouldn't tell your parents or family. You know you enjoy the 'randomest' of things and fight because of the pettiest of things but at the end of the day, what matters most is that you love each other in the most platonic way and that your relationship is still incomparable. 

Days ago, I bonded with my childhood friends. The ones that I met in school when we were little. We grew up together, separated and now are back with each other. We went to Cebu together for the very first time with the goal of renewing our license and mostly to have fun. It was all so spontaneous. We were short of cash but you know, we were blessed with people who came to rescue us with free meals and stuff. There were mighty things we discovered and memories that we'd cherish for a lifetime :) 

Here we are :) 

us at Jollibee IT Park, Cebu City [June 20]

Shakey's at SM City Cebu [June 21]

We missed a few people while we were there but still it was fun. :) 

My birthday's coming up and I'm stoked!... even if I don't have plans yet. 

Beginning

Hi! :) Starting all over again. I can even barely keep up with my baking/food blogging and now I'm starting another one. I had an old diary blog before this entitled Ponder Spills but I decided to delete it because that was full of sad memories that I don't want to continue writing on it anymore. I have pains of the past but I have learned to move on along with time. It's not that I don't want to write about anything painful. I still want to share anything I wish here. It's just that I don't want to reread that part of my life. The experience is enough. I just want to start over.

So why Pretty Pudgy, you may ask? It's because some people find me pretty and I know I'm pudgy. Pretty pudgy but could also mean slightly chubby. I've been in the obese range but now I'm overweight. I lost some weight and I want to lose more. So I'd like to share here how I'll go on with my life as I lose weight and have fun. This will be more like a diary of my life so it's not just about weight loss if you're expecting that. :)

I also like to read comments so feel free to leave a message.

Thanks for your time. :D